It's peace

2010~  This winter has passed, it's transition time.  Spring is simply happening with the birds heralding the passing of cold.  Our family is settling into a new reality and it is nice.    Blogs are sort of the old thing with facebook and twitter being the new, but this is still my journal.  No Readers?  No Problem!  
I don't know why I titled this It's Peace, (or why I title before I write), because so much conflict has been a part of my life.  It's not heavy conflict, but worthy conflict.  I am trying to not approach it like an adversary, rather as an old friend who needs delicate hands.  My brain is currently on an overload of new possibilities and old internal fights.  I don't often feel nudged to do things, I usually try and uber control situations until the right things just happen.  However now I am being nudged and it's not going to be easy to obey.   The good news is that it is nothing pressing, nothing that has to be done TODAY.  The hard part is going to be trying to explain myself without using the cliches of 'God told me to do it'.  How do you be real about talking with God?  Honestly?  Seriously?  And that he has a directive for me?  And it doesn't include much of what I have been doing professionally or spiritually?  
And that's another thing entirely.  Wrestling has been keeping me up at night.   
I need to maintain the perspective of Who.  It's not often that He says go, and the opportunity to so clearly say yes is a blessing.  I want to do what He says, I don't think I have the ability.  And that's where blogging comes in.  This new direction is going to require writing-  and not the crappy self centered writing I normally do.  Therefore, just like the good musician I am, I feel I need to be disciplined in this craft, and practice often.