Sunday Day (night) book

The men in my life are truly good men.  One is here in my own house, zonked out right here beside me in his clothes.  He's not snoring, but the remote is hanging in his hand haphazardly.  He may be drooling, I'm not getting up to check.
I was not the ideal happy wifey today.  I was grumpy, argumentative, and short tempered.  I know.  Hard to believe.
But I felt justified.
I wasn't.
He maintained sanity around me today, he showed me grace.  It was humbling.
So here I sit, ready to confess my day.  Not to you, dear reader.  You're getting the glossy night-book version.   SO....
I am sitting:  On my couch laptop in lap TV blaring stupid show but remote is stuck two cushions down, and I won't interrupt the pre-bedtime nap.
I am wearing: Jeans because I caught a snippet of video of me wearing a skirt recently and it wasn't nearly as cool as I thought it was.  I think jeans might be my best bet until I lose this stupid 15 lbs.  Yes, I am obsessive, and yes, it could be a problem.  But I'm swimming and walking and eating ok, so health is good.  And that should be enough.  
I heard today:  snippets of a sermon because Bity Boo couldn't stay quiet during church AT ALL.  But what I heard was good.   Even better when it's shown to you in unexpected ways.  Also, Bity sings with serious gusto-  I can hear her all the way up at the piano.  It makes my heart happy.
I am reading:  The Hobbit with Carrie.  Bilbo Baggins is such a delightful character, but Gollum's voice was fun to do...  she thought I was creepy!!  Mission accomplished.
I am feeling:  completely inadequate in so many areas.  Most of the time, I just feel inadequate in 1 or 2 spots.  But right now, today, it all just feels difficult.  I hate self pity parties and FAIL.  But the introvert inside is thriving and the self speak isn't all that positive.  Just when I think she's under control something triggers the ugliness.  GO AWAY INTROVERT NUTBALL!
What I need:  3 day retreat where no one is talking to me and I can read and write and chill and come to terms with the fact that I can't be perfect at everything, and I am not even going to be good at most things.  There are a few things I do really really well and those should be enough.  I make a pretty good cheesecake.  Consolation.
I am going to stop:  The pity party.  You (the reader) are sort of witnessing the end of the party-  just the fact that I'm writing this instead of thinking it is good.  If I let it all fester in my mind, it just gets worse.   And so.  This week will be better.