5 Minute Friday

I'm going to force myself to write this morning just a little bit and Gypsy Mama has given me the 5 Minute Friday prompt.  Head on over there for a beautiful blog and a chance to win a prize.

Ready, Steady, GO!

When Seasons Change

I am ready.  

Breaking my life into 2 semesters and a summer based on the school/ teaching schedule has me very happy about this time of year.  I am ready to have a more flexible time with the kids, the house and the husband.  I gleefully spend a couple of weeks praying, devising options, anticipating our summer break.  How much traveling?  How much running around?  How much downtime?  How many books can we read? Can we get all our stuff done in the mornings so we can delight in the long afternoons and lazy play outside evenings? Or should be have leisurely mornings of chalk sidewalks and coffee?  When do we visit friends?  When do we swim?  Library? Camps? 

yup.  Ready.  

Complaints (aka Whining)

Not feeling all that creative today, or sane for that matter.  This weather is not helping.  Right now I am cuddled up under a cozy blanket watching the trees dance in the rough wind and the rain slant to the shiny street.
There are so many wonderful qualities to the day.  So many things that I normally love:  a melancholy mood, sweat pants, and Vivaldi.  What is wrong with me?
I want to be in the garden today.  I want to have the warm sun on my face, I want the cool earth in my hands and the soft grass at my toes.  I want to be reveling in the beauty of spring.  I want to play badminton with Pat, catch with Carrie, and chase Noelle and Leah around looking at bugs and tree bark and flowers.  I want to cook out, make tomato salad, drink lemonade.
I don't want to get out coats.  I don't want to be wet and cold.  I don't want to catch up on work.
Pat just walked in with seeds for watermelon, much to the delight of Ms Cocopugs.  She is dancing and giggling about watermelons as big as her head.  Ok.  I can do this today.
Hope Abides.

All work?

Today is SUNDAY!  And it's almost time for me to go to bed-  tomorrow will come early, and with it, work.
But first, my day of resting and contemplation and renewal began with a quiet cup of tea and conversation with the husband.  The kids played and we read the paper online, cleaned the kitchen and chatted-  then he fell asleep on the couch.  
I made headway on Comfort Food by Kate something or other while sitting on the couch in my pajamas.  The kids played.  The baby napped.  The husband continued to nap.
Babykins woke up, and played with the big girls until tomato soup and BLT's were ready, bacon was the alarm that finally woke sleeping beauty, and he joined us for lunch.
He headed out for the perfunctory weekend trip to Menards with the littlest ones in tow.  The big girl was mine.  She had a date with a large pile of laundry.  She sorted, she carried down baskets, she loaded, unloaded, did detergent, set the timer, cleaned the filter, folded and put away.  Mostly.  I had a practice date with the piano and the liturgy.  I did help with the laundry a little, and we do have one more load to get done tomorrow.  Then she helped me get dinner in the crockpot so we'd have dinner when we got home from church.
Then showers and cleanup, off to All Saint's Lutheran for a wonderful service and Sunday School, and home again to ride bikes outside, eat roast beef, and finish my book.  I even slid in the final of Worst Cooks in America.   Ahhhhhh.....Love Sundays.
But tomorrow I have to catch up around here.  The big girls laundry is done, but I need to finish up the little girls, mine, and the linens.  I have a loose schedule that I follow-  flexibility is key- but I have been neglecting my self imposed work load and it shows in how well things run.  I must get back on track.
In the meantime, I have another 45 minutes until I fall asleep.

And now back to our regularly scheduled program...

This morning is the first morning in a LONG time that no one is talking to me, no one needs anything, I can actually hear the hum of the refrigerator.  I have so much catching up to do today but I wanted to start with a procratinating moment on the blog.
So many topics are swirling around in my head, I hope to tackle some of them soon.  As it is, here's my Monday daybook:
I am....   sitting at my kitchen table with the sun warming my cheeks, looking outside at the once pristine snow that has been lovingly trampled on by little feet.

I am wearing....  my warm and cozy Under Armor sweats with gym shoes.  Sometimes wearing gym shoes means I will actually go to the gym.  Not sure about today.
I am contemplating..... homeschooling, Metcalf, Mulberry school, my philosophy of education and how it is fitting (or not) with the local public school.
I am reading.....  The Well Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer , and just finished An Irish Country Girl by Patrick Taylor.
I have to get started.....  Beth Moore's bible study Believing God-  I am leading a group of college girls in this online study but I have to get moving and do the reading.  Woefully behind
I am missing...  My friends.  Things have been so crazy around here that I haven't had time to catch up with my friends.  I could see myself sinking into family oblivion and ignoring all those outside people who make my life so much richer.  It's the introvert in my trying to rule the day.  Must Fight Introvert.
I finished...  MY TAXES!  Which then started a big conversation with the husband about my small business and how much we pay in taxes.  He would like to see me teaching at the college level and I would too, but I also know I am not qualified without a Master's Degree.  So he tells me to go back to school.  Yes, in my spare time.  If he thinks I am busy now...
And now I am really procrastinating.  I must get up and do some work around the house.

Crazy Mama Daybook

I'm feeling a little off this early morning.  CB has a broken fever, hurrah, Baby Belle is teething or not happy about weaning, or really really hungry and so I have been up all night.  Not only that, but I didn't eat much dinner last night and my stomach is hungry.  I am tired of nursing, tired of nursing and tired.  And hungry.  And tired.  So tired.  And a little snappy at the small people.  
I'm eating one piece of rye bread toast, one cup of herbal tea and half a cold piece of pizza.  I feel much better.
I'm wearing my favorite black lounge pants, a long black sweater, gray tank and gray slippers.  I have to go teach at noon.  I may just stay in my cozy clothes.
I'm pondering lots of random things.  My friend Katie from high school has a beautiful blog with lots of great photos and wonderful writing.  She and I used to sing Indigo Girl covers for fun, we worked in the same place at different times, and she has dealt with way more loss in her life.  I don't really know her anymore, but I feel connected to her through her writing.  It's good to know the young woman I knew is still there-  thriving, honest, and open about her life.
I'm also pondering home schooling.  I have a child who would thrive in an alternative school setting.  The hard part will be convincing her daddy that it's ok to stay home and learn.  I say we should try for 1 year and see how it goes.  Well? Continue.  Not well?  Parkside El is around the corner.  But what is truly best for Cocopugs?
I am going to try for a little nap.  Maybe I'll do a daybook again when I'm not so scattered.

Intention

I hear a lot from the new age movement about Holding an Intention for someone, which basically means to think thoughts about them and those things will come to them.  I don’t subscribe to that thinking, I tend to pray.  But the word Intention peaks my interest.  

My intention is to create opportunities in our home, opportunities to create, to learn, to have relationship, to love.  Here’s where I’m at now.  

Disciplined

I follow through:  When I tell someone I am going to do something, I do it.  This is actually a driving force of my nature.  It is sometimes the bane of my existence, too.  Because I recognize that I am true to my word, I weigh what I say, and be intentional about the things I promise.  This goes with being a disciplined person.  Now, my mom did ask me to walk her dog a few weeks ago and I TOTALLY FORGOT.  The poor doggie sat at home all day with not a person to hang out with.  My intention was good; follow through bad.  Jasmine forgave me.  I scratched her behind the ears for a few minutes.  We’re good. 

Pumpkins!

 I have a daily routine:  I am trying to follow some semblance of a daily routine which makes me somewhat predictable and therefore stable to the kids.  I am intentionally taking time daily to be sure that we have a relatively clean home, good food, and time to share together resting, reading, learning, crafting, cooking. (that’s a whole post unto itself) Of those, my husband actually does the crafting part.  He and the girls made paper puppets last week and they were awesome!  They acted out a little halloween play and had a great time.   He carved pumpkins with them, gardens with them, and draws and paints with them.  

I foster independence:   My oldest daughter is 7, and ready for a lot less mommy control.  She is responsible to get herself dressed and ready for school everyday.  She showers herself, does her own hair (if she chooses to), picks out her own clothes, and gets her own breakfast.  She sorts laundry, picks up the living room, practices piano and does her homework with minimal help.  I am intentional about the time I spend correcting her.  I abide by the Dr’s first ethics rule:  Do No Harm.  Sometimes I ask her why, or let her know what the weather is like so she can make informed choices, but mostly she gets to deal with her own consequences.   

Separation Anxiety

The other two girls are in various stages of separation anxiety and still want some mommy control.  I’m glad to give it.  

I love unconditionally:  There are a few signs around my house- you know some of that cheesy wall art-  one says “Always and Forever, No Matter What”   one says “Hope”  and one says “Peace”  those are the things I desire for my family, and love overlooks a lot of bad.  As we’ve gotten older the bad has gotten significantly less bad, and the good has gotten significantly better.   This family is not all about me and what I can or cannot do.  It's about creating bonds and relationships that will last and be healthy.  
I intend to set the tone for my family. 

Back to Vocation

Good Morning my favorite 4 people who read my blog!
This weekend I was honored to speak at the Time to Rise conference. It was a good experience and one I would do again.  I learned a few things during this whole process:

• God is faithful.  Even though I was woefully underprepared with my actual speech, I think the point of 'Your vocation as a musician is important' got across despite me and my own self issues.  
• Christ's body is a very unique and diverse place, and I loved being exposed to the raw emotion of dancing people, grandmas on their knees worshiping, people falling prostrate to the cross, and other hallmarks of Evangelical/ Pentecostal worship.  On one hand, I was a little overwhelmed and freaked out by it, but on the other hand, it was beautiful expressions of love for God.  I was moved by it.  Remind me next time to wear waterproof mascara because I can't sing 'Mighty to Save' without it.  
• While I was talking about vocation, (literally during the first session) I realized that I am so fortunate to have 2 vocations that are deeply and totally God driven.  I was talking about liturgical worship and in my head realized that living the liturgy on a daily basis actually encompasses both the mothering vocation and the musician vocation.  I am going to really focus on how to do this on a daily basis using Luther's Small Catechism.   Elizabeth Foss does this beautifully (in the Catholic way) on her blog, In the Heart of my Home.
• I made a playlist on my i-Pod for the listening portion of my talk.  I never got to play any of it due to some logistical shuffling at the last minute.  But I am listening to that playlist right now and IT IS GOOD.  It start with Bach and includes a wide swath of music briefly exposing the heritage of the church. 
• I learned a beautiful thing from Laura Story during her songwriting session.  She is the worship leader at a church for her 'real' job.  She writes specifically for the church she works at.  She feels called to interpret for the specific body of Christ she works for.  I love that idea because it reiterates the hand of God putting her vocation to work in a direct and meaningful way for Him through her.  I love a good paradigm shift.   

I really enjoyed the sessions, I enjoyed teaching, and I enjoyed meeting new people and reconnecting with my friend Sarah.  I loved singing and being a part of a great worshiping crowd.  I can't wait to start working again in my home and getting back to vocation #1.